Author Archives: meredithnelson1@bellsouth.net

Expat Election Musings

When the Globe Calls…..

Four years ago, during the 2012 election, I participated in the Globe and Mail’s expat election blog project. This project involved a group of Canadian expats living across the United States sharing their perspective of election issues with Canadian readers and blogging live during debates and other televised events. While the paper did not reprise the project this go around, a few of us were asked to contribute to a special feature, which the paper printed this past week.

Since participating in this project was part of the impetus for starting this blog, and since my published comments were highly edited, I thought it made sense to share my thoughts here. The paper asked us to comment on the past year of living with Donald Trump as the Republican nominee, and then to share what we thought would happen after the election.

Here are my answers.

Year of Living with Trump

When Donald Trump first emerged on the political scene people here did not take him seriously. My friends were all convinced there would be another Bush/Clinton showdown, with John Kasich as a long-shot outsider. Ironically, my first inkling that Trump was actually in it to win came from Canadian sources. My son came home from Ahmek (Taylor Statten Camps in Algonquin Park) determined to learn more about “this Trump guy” and was stunned that his Canadian friends knew more than he did about what was really going on in American politics. Fast forward a year and the same child went to camp fully school in Trumpism.

And here lies my challenge: how do you continue to encourage your children to be engaged in the political process while ensuring they understand how disrespectful and inappropriate their candidate is? Trump’s sound bites are appealing to a certain slice of the electorate: build a wall, lock her up…This rhetoric, however, is contrary to the foundations of liberal democracy and, in my opinion, is doing more to erode faith in the political process than address the very real issues facing the United States.

Hopes for After the Election

First and foremost, I hope Hillary Clinton is elected president. I shutter to think of the alternative. Ultimately, I hope that Donald Trump becoming the Republican nominee will shake up the Republican party and help “unwind” the big tent. A Republican friend of mine recently announced that she is no longer a Republican as she can’t vote for Trump. I believe she will vote for other Republicans running this cycle, putting into play what it means to be a Republican. If Donald Trump is the future of the party then where do former establishment Republicans fit? If he is not, where do his supporters fit? Pundits love to focus on how demographic trends favour Democrats. I wonder whether this election will provide an impetus for party realignment, which would challenge conventional wisdom of how certain groups vote.

Here is a link to the article: http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/world/us-election/canadian-expats-reflect-on-the-ugly-us-presidential-race/article32572248/

Keeping it Simple

Simple Instructions, simple tasks

Do you ever feel like you sound like a broken record? I know that I do. I often cringe listening to myself rhyme off reminders: “Brush your teeth.” “Don’t forget your homework.” “Take the garbage out.” Yet, the fabric of our routine and the hum of our household co-exist within these simple tasks.

I am tend to repeat idioms. Chances are you can read one on my fridge on any given day. “Don’t sweat the small stuff.” “What goes around comes around.” “Practice makes perfect.” These phrases so often encapsulate the core message I am trying to share that I admit I may sound a bit trite at times.

Ultimately, however, I have learned that my success, both as a parent and as a consultant, depends on how closely I follow the KISS principle. “KEEP IT SIMPLE STUPID.” Time and again I find myself falling back on this concept. It helps guide my decision making; it helps me correct course when things aren’t working out. It seems that following KISS often leads to “things falling into place”!

Mired in the Weeds

I recently got mired in the weeds writing a phone contract for my son. Before undertaking this project I read lots of other contracts. I borrowed the best of each, and wrote up what I thought was an airtight set of rules for managing his phone. This original contract was long on substance but short on enforceability. It was far too prescriptive and, as a result, in the real world of crazy family living, elements were broken without consequence. It was too complicated to enforce consistently, so was not effective when needed.

His new contract boils down to FIVE principles. The heart of which is that it is my phone and that I can do what I want with it, when I want, except he is responsible for paying for any repairs. I don’t think it could be simpler. Simple but effective. I can bring any transgression back to the contract and he can’t really argue with me.

The best thing about the new contract is how uncomfortable it makes my son. He can see how easy it is to enforce and that I mean business. He was much more comfortable stewing down in the weeds than exposed out of them!

Simple Does not Mean Easy

Consulting tools and solutions need to follow this same principle. In my experience, any time a project or report is getting too complicated it is probably time to step back and simplify it. Now believe me, this is harder than it sounds. Gathering information and over-analyzing it is often a lot easier than distilling its core message.

The irony of this is that smart clients often try to pull consultants down into the weeds. Just like my overly complicated phone contract, it is sometimes more comfortable arguing about picky details than identifying and solving REAL problems.

Until you distill your core – SIMPLE – message, it is usually difficult to figure out how to solve a problem. Make your clients and kids uncomfortable: fall back on simple, and see how much easier it is to manage results and realize desired outcomes.

The Art of Rising Above

Pick, Pick, Pick

My brothers and I are each six and a half years apart. In many ways this makes us operate more like only children than like normal siblings. We certainly had our issues growing up, but we generally didn’t battle it out on a regular basis the way many siblings do.

Conversely, I had three kids in four years. Yikes. What was I thinking? On a good day I’ll tell you how lucky they are to have built-in playmates. On a bad day all I hear is bicker, bicker, bicker. Pick, pick, pick. I never knew three people who could manufacture such petty arguments in such a short time.

What my children haven’t figured out yet is that the crux of their grievances with each other often gets lost in the midst of their bickering. I generally react either to their incessant noise or because someone starts to cry. While peace may be temporarily restored, the source of the problem remains, just waiting to erupt again.

Workshop Anyone?

As a consultant, my natural tendency is to problem solve. When I listen in on their arguments it is hard for me to resist the temptation to build a straw-man model and run a mini-workshop. Surely if we talk it out we can find a workable solution!

The problem with this approach is that often what my children see as urgent is such a low-hanging fruit in terms of family issues that it hardly bears acknowledging. Do we really need to waste an hour discussing why it is IMPOSSIBLE to share a music stand? Believe me we could, and I could develop some thoughtful recommendations for moving forward……

The real issue in the case is sharing, and solving this, from my experience, will take patience and persistence. It is not an easy, quick fix.

The Heart of the Matter

What strikes me is the symmetry between picky sibling problems and making sound recommendations. When undertaking any kind of organizational assessment it is easy, and indeed tempting, to focus on the obvious, picky problems. Stakeholders often try to keep a conversation mired in the weeds to avoid talking about what really matters.

The challenge is acknowledging these kinds of issues without focusing on them. The best recommendations tend to contain an AHA element, tempered with a realization that their implementation will take some work. It is only by rising above and taking an objective view of the whole picture that it is possible to determine what is really going on.