Sibling Rivalry

My boys have trouble finding common ground.  That may be the understatement of the decade, by the way.  They are simply very different individuals who rarely agree on anything:  sports, books or games.  My brothers are six and thirteen years younger than I am.  It didn’t matter all that much whether or not our interests jived; we simply co-existed.

As a result, sibling rivalry is new for me.  I had three kids in four years.  Crazy?  Perhaps.  Fractious?  Absolutely.  The hard truth, however, is that most kids fight, and the closer in age they are they greater the intensity of their battles.

Expect the Unexpected

So you can imagine my surprise (and delight) to see my boys come together in a most unexpected way.  My older son has a severe nut allergy.  We maintain a completely nut-free house, and he is very careful of what and how he eats at restaurants and at other people’s homes.  I recently discovered that my younger son is extremely sensitive to dairy.  Oddly enough, accommodating his dietary needs is proving harder than dealing with no nuts.  No more cheese, no more cream sauces and much more limited butter…..

To wrap my head around dairy-free dinners I bought a “paleo” cookbook.  I love cookbooks, so why not explore a new perspective.  What I did not expect was to find my boys pouring over it together discussing all the meals they wanted to try.

I told my chiropractor this story because she has been such an integral part of my journey towards better health.  She proceeded to share how when she feeds her extended family they will eat her healthy food (meatloaf with organ meat and a side of kale) as long as they don’t know what is in it.  All they know in the end is that it is delicious and has fully satisfied them.

Finding Common Ground

Together, these two stories remind me of a successful focus group.  So often a session involves bringing people together with vastly different perspectives and experiences who may or may not even want to be there.  Likewise, some participants may not be all that interested in the topic at hand and may not think they have anything to share.

Yet, what is so interesting is how people find common ground.  It is often those who seem completely at odds who come together on a particular point, which then proves pivotal to the overall result.  Other times, the process to get to this result is messy and unappealing.  Yet the end result is surprisingly satisfactory, making it almost possible to forget what went into getting the outcome.

Hmmmm, maybe I need to worry less about the fact that my boys fight and celebrate instead what happens when they come together!