Girl Power

Girl Power Eight-Year Old Style

“SHHH. Be quiet. I need to hear this!” So yelled my eight-year old daughter at her brothers. Scott Pelley’s recent interview with Hillary Clinton was about to air on the CBS Evening News.

My daughter, you see, is an unwavering Hillary fan and supporter. She doesn’t really understand the issues yet, particularly as they relate to her well being. She does, however, strongly believe that it is time for a woman to be president, and in Hillary she sees someone very presidential.

Now remember, this is a child whose first birthday roughly corresponds with Obama’s first victory. She has never known anything but a black president, and may never really take the time to focus on the historic nature of his election. Instead, I hope she will judge him on his accomplishments.

Where Have they Gone?

My daughter’s commitment to Hillary is particularly intriguing given that so many young, female Democrats are drawn to Bernie Sanders. These women seem attracted to the idealism of the Sanders campaign. The ‘gender’ card argument falls flat on them. As Jill Filipovic wrote in the New York Times Review, it is not so much that these women aren’t feminists, but rather that their feminism is expressed more on an issue by issue level rather than by means of breaking through a barrier.

Older women, however, are generally staunch Hillary supporters. My mother is certainly one of them. When I asked her why she didn’t hesitate: “She has a serious command of complex issues. She has been in or near public office for nearly forty years. She was a very effective Senator from a large and important state.” And her list goes on…..

My mom has been a Hillary fan for a long time. She credits a 1994 PBS Frontline episode celebrating the 25th anniversary of Hillary’s class at Wellesley with convincing her that Hillary deserved a shot in her own right. She was particularly impressed with how, as valedictorian, in response to a very condescending address, she “ignored her prepared remarks and spoke from the heart, effectively ripping his thesis apart.” From her perspective, Hillary showed then that she had the grit and perseverance to operate effectively as a woman in a man’s world.

Coming Full Circle

I love the symmetry of how these different reactions to one candidate coalesce. Each is feminist in its own way, be it breaking barriers or focusing on issues that matter.

As a Gen Xer who bridges the gap between Millennial voters and my mother’s Baby Boom generation, I find I am somewhat swayed by my eight-year old. From her perspective, HIllary comes across as the most presidential: her being a woman in a bonus, but what really matters is that she seems most qualified to do the job.

For her sake, I hope to see a woman President sooner than later. I would like to see the conversation move beyond historic firsts towards ability, experience and ISSUES. Let’s hope that this happens well before 2028, when my feisty one gets to vote.

Making Lemonade

Buying the Ingredients

I recently put my son on a bus for a youth group middle school ski trip. This was one of the hardest things I have had to do as a parent. My stomach was one big knot as I drove away. I can only imagine how he felt.

This ski trip was supposed to be great fun. He was going with a friend who he does not see all that often because they go to different schools. Neither of them had ever skied; the trip was going to be a chance for them to experience the slopes for the first time together.

Mixing Things Up

So why the knot? This trip was scheduled for the weekend of the epic snowstorm: Jonas. CANCELLED, and for good reasons. Raleigh essentially closed down that weekend, and no one was driving through West Virginia. The trip was rescheduled, and guess what: friend had a conflict, and had to bow out.

You can only imagine the scene that followed in our household.

Son: so I guess I don’t have to go on the ski trip as the deal I was going with my friend.

Mom: sorry, that is not how the world works. You made a commitment to the trip, we paid for it, and you are able to go. You are going.

Son: this is not fair. the deal was I was going with my friend. I can’t go alone. This is going to be the worst weekend of my life. (a few words not appropriate to print)

What he didn’t understand was how well I could empathize with him. I wouldn’t have wanted to go on the trip ‘alone’ at his age either. Yet, there was no way I could let him walk away from the commitment. And while he wasn’t friends, per se, with the other kids, he did know them, and learning to ski is a pretty awesome opportunity.

Taste Test

Sending him off involved so many life lessons that I hardly know where to start. The one that most resonated with him, however, was “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” Much is being written about today’s parents doing so much to pave the way for their kids that this fundamental life skill may become harder to master.

Who doesn’t remember a time when something didn’t work out as planned and having to make the best of it. The earlier one learns to accept setbacks and pick back up the better. The challenge for parents these days seems to be staying out of the way and letting their child walk into the situation, ALONE.

Guess what? He had a great time. He LOVED skiing, found a friend to ski with and another to sit with on the bus home. He is already talking about next year!

Nothing like sweet lemonade……

Good Enough

When “healthy-ish” is Good Enough

The headline in this month’s Bon Appetit is “healthy-ish”. The edition is full of “delicious, comforting, home cooking that happens to be kinda good for you.” YUM. How refreshing. Shouldn’t food taste good, first and foremost? In my experience, home-cooked food, even food laden in butter, is a better alternative to anything from a jar, bag or can regardless of how healthy it may claim to be.

Someone I know thinks I spend too much time cooking. I believe that the backside of this is that I don’t spend enough time cleaning. The truth is that I personally derive much more pleasure cooking food than cleaning it up, and if the by-product of homemade meals is a “cleanish” kitchen then I’ll take it. You may not want to eat off my floors, but my meals taste pretty good. Good Enough for me.

The same is true for me when it comes to workouts. I love walking and doing yoga and pilates. Nothing crazy hard or intense, but enough to keep me “fit’ish”. The thought of running a marathon makes me gag, but that is really not the point. I am healthy, feel good and enjoy exercising. Oh, and guess what, since I work out diligently I am getting both stronger and more able…. maybe even close to fit.

Nudging towards “-ish”

I think there is a lesson here for all of us, and particularly for consultants. Sometimes an organization may benefit more by being nudged forward in an incremental way than by undergoing a massive transformation. In other words, encouraging them to change something with a view to becoming “good enough” rather than setting unrealistic goals in an effort to become “outstanding”.

Consultants strive to deliver the best possible results. It can be difficult to recognize when “good enough” may be the answer. However, like the transition from packaged food to healthy-ish cooking, or moving the couch potato into a low-intensity, but enjoyable activity, small changes can have lasting, transformational results.

Next time you make a recommendation stop and think whether becoming good enough just might be the best possible result.